Friday, June 15, 2007

The smart buffalo

Another incomplete collaborative effort, but limited to my colleagues from one center only -

There once lived an average buffalo in a crowded cattle-shed in a tiny corner of the crowded city. She wasn't too smart, but that was when you compared her to other buffaloes; she was, of course, as all buffaloes are, approximately a zillion times smarter than the average human. Every morning, as she chewed cud, she accomplished a million complex calculations and solved a hundred unsolvable equations. But she forgot it all by lunch you see, she didn't need to remember all that. What mattered was how much more hay she could wrangle out of her keeper.

Shakuntala, as she was fondly known, had a unique talent of creating the most lilting melodies. Each time she moved her head from one side to another, the bell around her neck rang in blockbuster tunes.

You see, Shakuntala liked Mohan Pyare – a young bull in the neighboring cattle shed. And she would move her head to the tune of her messages. The favourite one being “Dil Ding-Dong-Ding Bole”!

On Valentines Day, she decided to speak to Pyare about her feelings for him. With all her renewed courage, which she apparently gathered from eating lot of curd, she visited Pyare. Alas, she found him sleeping with Radha, the new hottie in the village.

Shakuntala broke into tears. In a couple of hours, she said to herself, ‘’ Big deal, he is not worth my love’’. To keep the depression away, she put all her efforts into composing melodies. Her talent and hard work did not get unnoticed. She won the Grammy for the Best New Artist.

As happens with all those animals who suddenly achieve stardom, Shakuntala took to drugs and started living a wayward life. Also, somewhere in her subconscious lay a wish to fulfill her thwarted desire for Pyare. So, she started going around with gizolos.

One day Pyare, was going down the street with his keeper, when he saw Shakuntala lying unconscious in a field. Pyare couldn’t believe his eyes that the most enchanting Shakuntala was laying like this. He wanted to get free from his keeper and help Shakuntala.

As Pyare was about to free himself from his keeper, suddenly Mohan came and pulled her up with his horns. He renamed Shakuntala to Shirley and tied her along with the cart he was pulling and started treading the muddy paths. They walked till the dead end of the horizon.

As night closed upon their tired beings, after such a strenuous walk, they felt and thought they saw a strange radiance coming out of nowhere. Upon straining their eyes, they saw that at the end of the horizon there was a gray mist enveloping everything else. The soft iridescence seemed to come out of that mist. As they neared this mist, Mohan’s legs felt as heavy as lead, whereas Shakuntala was walking almost with a prance. When they were within touching distance of the mist, a thundering voice was heard from the clouds, “Welcome to buffalo-land Shakuntala! Here only those virtuous buffaloes are allowed, who have suffered for no fault of their own! Forget drugs, bollywood item numbers, solving complicated equations, and even Pyare! You deserve much better!” Mohan fell on the ground with a thud.


PG said...

Typo - gizolos, should be gigolos naa
Earlier in the story, Mohan Pyare is one bull. Then how can all this happen:
As Pyare was about to free himself from his keeper, suddenly Mohan came and pulled her up with his horns.

Kucch bhi likhta hai :P