Wednesday, June 20, 2007


It's 10:45 PM and I'm walking along a dimly-lit lane on my way home. It's been a long day, and I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I'm also in reflex-mode, as I like to call it, because I do not notice things consciously - my actions are just my reflexes kicking in. My mind has slowed down and prefers not to be involved with my actions. My earphones pipe in music that helps shut out the world partially.

I was on the outside when you said
You said you needed me
I was looking at myself
I was blind, I could not see

Halfway home, as I pass a dark lane, I hear sounds of people chanting. I really don't pay attention, because it interrupts the song I'm listening to, and I don't want to turn up the volume. A short while later, I hear the same chants and they're louder now. I turn around to see what's happening, and of course it takes a while for me to register. It's a funeral procession, and there are about thirty people chanting "Ram nam satya hai". I ignore the procession and continue walking home at a faster pace. The procession picks up speed and I find myself at the head of the group. Expecting the group to take the straight road, I turn into the lane on the right, only to find that I'm followed. This lane is darker that the others, and I feel uncomfortable, and there's too much muck on the roads that I am trying to avoid. There's a lone streetlight that gives me a sense of direction, pointing the way home.

I was on the inside
When they pulled the four walls down
I was looking through the window
I was lost, I am found

My mind is fully functional again' I don't want it to be. It is definitely not pleasant leading a funeral procession. Close proximity to corpses brings about a realization of mortality, of time, of things left undone, and of things left unsaid. Movies don't make you feel like this; this experience is reality.

I walk into a busy crossroad, and I still can't shake them off. One more turn and I'm home. They have to go the other way. They do. And U2 still keep repeating the same refrain.

Walkaway, walkaway
I walkaway, walkaway...I will follow
If you walkaway, walkaway,
I walkaway, walkaway...I will follow
I will follow

Your eyes make a circle
I see you when I go in there
Your eyes, your eyes...

If you walkaway, walkaway
I walkaway, walkaway..I will follow