Monday, May 02, 2005

time to rock and roll

actually it's time for one of my rants.
you have heard 'time to rock and roll' before. ya, its from the blockbuster action movie you've always loved... the part where the larger than life hero gets ready to shoot hundreds of invading aliens or nazis or invading aliens dressed up as nazis while simultaneously adjusting his oakleys with his other hand and does so without breaking a sweat.

i was watching the matrix when i was reminded of how much i hate lines like these in movies. trinity says 'dodge this' and shoots an agent from point blank range. these are guys that can dodge bullets. surely by the time it takes her to say 'dodge this', not only can he dodge that but he can also catch it and shove it where it belongs. slam dunk.

why do i hate these 'good' guys and root for the 'bad' guys? partly because i like rooting for the underdog and partly because the good guys are portrayed nauseatingly good and righteous and the bad guys... the only good thing they'll ever do in life is die. ever read any of carl hiassen's books? his characters are so black and white that you forget color ever existed. i can't read more than 50 pages of his books without wanting to throw up. even on an empty stomach.

you know what i'd like to see? the next time a hero says 'its time to party', he gets kicked in his nads, shot in his knee caps and his eyes gouged for good measure.