Monday, December 18, 2006

I should be in the movies

I've been in Kolkata for some time now, and in the absence of other interesting things to do, I have turned to watching television for a few hours everyday. Having watched a decent amount of television over the past couple of months I have been able to compile a list of movie roles that almost seem like they were written with me in mind.

1. The nerdy friend of the protagonist who gets beaten up by the bad guys and barely manages to make it back to let the good guys know about the incident

2. This is a variation of the first one - the guy who, in a valiant effort, instead of pushing or hitting the bad guy when he is about to shoot/stab/bash the good guy, steps in to get himself killed.

3. The informer who is manhandled by the good guys/police/bad guys seeking the location of a certain something. The informer always resists at first, but gives in a couple of blows later, not because he is a coward, but perhaps because he was not there in the script in the first place, and was given the role because he is the director's wife's aunt's second cousin who came to the city to become a 'fillum hero'.

4. The doctor's assistant - this is the youngish intern who hangs around the senior doctor and is in charge of telling the near and dear ones of the patient to remain calm and 'sab theek ho jayega'. (This role is different from the one which requires the doc to say "Sab theek ho jayega. Bhagwan pe bharosa rakheye" - this is done by a senior doctor.)

5. The third/fourth motorcycle rider - this is the guy who assists in the creation of the "v" pattern when the protagonist and his friends are riding their mobikes in the middle of the road along Marine Lines in Mumbai. (I admit that cannot ride a motorcycle, and I will need to learn, practice and really 'get into the role')

6. The skinny guy who gets killed when he goes to have a pee in the middle of the night when camping in the woods in a horror movie - but this is more of a Hollywood role - perhaps my debut.

In the interests of keeping this post short, I'm ending it at 6. More roles in the next post.


mandar talvekar said...

You have a punishment fetish?

Av said...

I is likes 5 and 6 - HA HA HA big time!! How is you?

Anonymous said...

Hey...want Ekta kapoor's number? Am sure she'll have some better roles for you than getting beaten up throughout...say the ideal son with twenty thousand relatives who supposedely dies in an accident and then comes back after 2 years with a lost memory!
Atleast these roles will feed you throuout your life coz these serials will never end!