The Omnipotent

And one day I managed to get into a conversation with the Omnipotent. It seemed like an interesting opportunity to get a few things clarified - you know good, bad, evil, pleasure, pain et al. So I started by asking him to explain these things to me.

"Eh?” He replied, "They exist? I created these? Are you sure of this? I learnt English only recently you know. And I really don't a chance to talk to anything much."

And he blew on the earth, "I need to spread the air around, you see."

"So, aren't you supposed to be looking out for people and ensuring that they are safe and happy?” I asked.

"This 'happy' thing, what is it?” He asked. "Am I supposed to be doing this? Nothing told me about it."

And he disappeared for a second. "I had to clean up a couple of million stars," He explained when He came back.

"What is this balance of good and evil you maintain? How do you keep track?" I asked.

"I have to maintain a balance? Hey, I'm a little overworked you know, and you keep telling me these things I'm supposed to be doing! Whatever came up with these ideas?"

And suddenly this island came up in the middle of the sea. "That's great! How did I do that?” he asked me.

"You did it, you should know!” I shot back, "you're omniscient."

"Not another big word!” He sighed, "What thought this up?"

And he absent-mindedly touched the earth, and a few million people died.

I was shocked. "Why did you do that?” I asked Him.

"I wasn't paying attention - too many things on my mind. I need a vacation, but I don't know where I'll go."

"You can't just kill people like that," I exclaimed, "people will stop believing in you."

He smiled, "That's what the ant was telling you the other day."